Sophomore year, I told my mom that I wanted to go through independent study and start on college on the side or a catholic school (mind you Im pagan) but I didnt want to go through with public school one bit. When I found out my college courses would be free (and my mom did some really stupid things and made some really beyond stupid mistakes) I went nuts. I didnt talk to my dad and completely flipped out at my mom. Why not look at alternatives to get me ahead? They dont cost more with he exception of private school! Why do you hate me??
In the end, it did cost me more to finish public school. We were forced to buy a cap and gown or we wouldnt walk (and we were not allowed to rent or buy used.) Those didnt come cheap...around $70 for the entire get up. All of those college classes I could have taken for free were now no less than $75 (not including books and supplies.) The class I need the most was free...now is $175 without supplies at a community college. Financial aid? If only the government went by my wages alone instead of my wages plus my parents. I do not live with them and they do not support me in any way, shape, or form. I dont qualify for any waivers or grants.
Of course they wanted me to do the whole go through high school, college, get married, have kids, buy a house, blah blah blah. I have never been that kind of person. I have always preferred slaving over something I love instead of simply working on something I hate. Id rather get up at 2 in the morning and shovel horse poo and do farm chores for 12 hours in the middle of summer than work 4 hours in a deli like I do now. So it shouldnt come as a surprise when I suddenly disappear off the face of this planet...not literally of course.
I have always had my mind set on a county home. I was checking out some properties with lots of land (to frolic and garden in of course) but no house. I know by moving, Im probably going to put myself in some sort of debt. Oh well...at least I will be mentally happy and with only monetary worry which is something I dont have now. Of course now I worry about where to lay my head because of psychotic landlords (I must be a psychotic landlord magnet.) Have kids? Of course but Id much rather home school.
Anyway. I have always been the forest type person. Well I found the perfect plot somewhere (yeah I forgot where it was) that keeps coming back to mind. One side is wooded with a creek nearby but the other side has a field that blooms with wildflowers in the spring. At certain spots, you can see the city lights at night.The more I stress here, the more country I get. Just last week, I told myself the only "farm" animals Id want were chickens (and dogs and cats but you see those just as much in the city.) Now that I think about it...Im very much considering some cows and/or some goats. I dont care for pork so no pigs. It wouldnt break the bank to just buy butchered pork at the store when I want some.
So...there ya have it. Im just not cut out for that whole planned life. Id like to just chill and take life how it comes...smell the sweet air of not-the-city. Wish folks would just let me be.
